About Me

I like to complain about stuff and try a little to fix it. If I could make a living that way, so much the better. This blog reflects my opinions and is in no way affiliated with any other companies.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Caio bella

So it's 3:08 a.m. here in lovely Milano and it might be one of the few times that being a spinstermiss ain't all it's cracked up to be. While generally spinster travel involves lots of doing whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, and often kissing exciting new lips owned by interesting and unusual international lips, there are hours like this that it might be nice to travel with company.

This trip, filled with visions of great new eyewear from the Mido trade fair, has involved tons of rain and a head cold that promises to make flying home this morning a literal headache. But there have been bright spots galore that would never have happened had I a husband keeping me home, including sitting here at 3:12 in my skivvies writing this note.

Brightest spots:

The food. Yes, I'm a bit of a foodie and I've earned those pounds this week with gnocchi and gorganzola cheese, risotto, risotto, risotto. And this delicious new candy bar, Lion Well, new to me.

The sights. While Milan is far from the prettiest city in Europe, it is really, really old which is always interesting for someone who lives in a relative young chit of a nation. And the Duomo lit up a night is really breathtaking.

The men. No one on Earth will look at you like a man in Italy. No where else can a nearly 40-year-old woman who opts for comfort over style get the patented Italian-man-on-the-street sexy look. Rowl.

The shopping. Didn't do much buying but did quite a bit of coveting of fancy boots.

The men II, the visitors. What's more fun than a man on the road on business? Set free from the constraints of happy home life, these packs of men have money to spend and adventures on their minds. Get your mind out of the gutter...these are the folks who will keep you safe at 2 a.m. while you're looking for that crazy jazz bar. He's like a celibate (mostly) sugar daddy. Lovely.

Youth, Schmooth.

Ok, this might sound crazy, but I'm thinking it's a great idea for the spinsters of the world to unite and demand a special dispensation for entry into the retirement village community. Although many of us don't yet reach the requisite 50+ status, we could bring lots to the senior community.

Including the following:

- Oh you crazy kids. Spinsters are a wonderful stand in for no-show kids. We'll stop by seeking advice, casseroles, and how the heck to iron a shirt without adding in new wrinkles.

- Widow transition assistance. This is terrible, I know. But it's true! Some women have been married for a long time. And then their husbands go off to that 19th hole in the sky, leaving their aged brides totally unprepared for the single life. Who better to help them with the transition into the solo scene than a life-long single gal?

- Daddy issues, anyone? Sadly, our married sisters sometimes head to the 19th hole in sky leaving their husbands bereft and looking for a slightly younger model. If that's your thing, well great. Old balls don't really do it for me, but whatever floats your singular boats.

So I'm off to buy a keen Alfred Dunner getup and some sassy walking shoes in preparation for the great day when Spinsters find their freedom in the lands of the golf cart as primary transportation.